Dec 1, 2013

[Movies] I Was A Teenage Werebear (2011)

Bonus review!

This short film was so bad, that I knew I had to post a review, but I don't want to dedicate to much time blog space for it. So I'll keep things brief.

I Was A Teenage Werebear is a 2011 gay comedy horror musical (talk about genre mash-ups) written and directed by Tim Sullivan. It's main claim to fame is the fact that it stars Sean Paul Lockhart, better known as gay porn star Brent Corrigan. This appears to be an attempt to prove that he has the capability to become a legitimate actor. I'm not holding my breath.

The movie is set in some weird 1960's period that's supposed to remind you of classic drive-in horror movies. Instead the only thing that's truly scary in this 30 minute film is Sean Paul Lockhart's singing. At first I was hoping that his terrible singing was an attempt to further the campy feel of the movie. But given some of the other stars were actually hitting their notes, I realized that this was not part of the overall campiness of the movie. The only singing that could be deemed worse than Lockhart's would probably involve Sebastian Castro or something.

Long story short, Ricky (Lockhart) falls for mysterious bad boy Talon (Anton Troy), who manages to bite Ricky during a wrestling match, thus turning him into a werebear - instead of a half-man, half-bear they all turn into leather daddies. The werebears want to eat everyone (not in a sexual way) but Ricky tries to reason with them that this is not the path to acceptance in the community. I'm serious.

The only thing that impresses me about this movie is the fact that I managed to finish it. Even at 30 minutes, it felt way too long and just too painful. This wasn't the sort of movie that's so bad that it becomes it. Given the horrible songs, bad singing and shallow plot, it just ends up as bad. This rates a 1 out of 5.
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