Mar 24, 2013

[Technicolor Musings] Holding Hands in Public

I like holding my partner Tobie's hand when walking through the mall.

It seems a little cheesy or corny, but it's something that I really appreciate. And it doesn't have to be some big political statement or anything like that. It's just a simple expression of our affection for one another and I like being free to do it.

Some argue that it's not a good either since it draws attention to you being gay in public or some nonsense like that. But why should I be ashamed to be walking with the man that I love? Why should I hide how I feel? Why should I feel ashamed of my being gay?

Don't get me wrong - more excessive public displays of affection are best reserved for the bedroom or perhaps a 100% gay-friendly environment like O Bar or something. But otherwise, I feel fully empowered to walk around in public with my hand firmly in Tobie's as we look at the displays, figure out what movie to watch or just find a rare Transformer that I've been hoping to add to my collection.

There is so much power in being able to hold the hand of a loved one. And not making too much a big deal about it helps send home the true message - that people just need to get used to seeing this sort of thing and should stop acting all shocked and appalled. I hold hands more for me than any big agenda. I don't hold hands to deliberately shock people or anything silly like that. I hold Tobie's hand because I love him and I feel just that bit more connected when his hand is in mine.

I think this image belongs to Gibb Cadiz
It's like when we watched PETA's Bona. Every time the gay characters on-stage would have a moment of intimacy, you'd have the audience squealing and shrieking and maybe laughing awkwardly. But when you have the heterosexual characters doing there thing, the reaction was nowhere near as comical or shocking. We still live in a society that thinks of gay situations in the context of humorous moments in local movies and TV shows. We're often the comic relief and not the main focus of the story. And if we are, we're probably suffering and not just happy.

While holding hands may not be a big political statement in itself, I have to concede that it is a statement. It's a request to be accepted for who we are. It's a soft plea for people to come to accept that it's okay for two men to be holding hands in public. It's okay to get a surprise peck on the check while an LGBT couple waits for the escalator to bring them to the next floor. There's nothing overly special or unique about these events. These things should be considered to be perfectly normal.

So don't be ashamed to show your love. Celebrate a little Baduy Pride. Be happy. Love.
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